Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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