Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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