he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm both gender and math confused
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
