Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We are two peas in an std pod
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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