...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
