4 words: hood of his car
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
