thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
