I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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