i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
