Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
