I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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