I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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