One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
