just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
