32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
They are going to name an STD after you.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
