oh god the rape fog is back!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
