You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
