I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize