dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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