So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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