Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dignity is for republicans.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
