i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
