Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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