So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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