dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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