i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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