When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
