If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
