Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Im part way to drunk.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
