If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My pussy is not your playground.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
