The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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