I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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