ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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