So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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