Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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