uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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