whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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