my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just googled if crying burns calories
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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