You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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