I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
