why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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