You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
