so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
