it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
