i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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