Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
