goodnight i made you a song goodbye
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize