And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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