Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
