Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize