a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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