I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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