if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
