I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
