The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
There are leaves in my underwear?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
