it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize