Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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