Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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