Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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